Tuesday, January 18, 2011

If this is the way we raise our children, then no wonder our children turn out bad

imageI am neither a mom nor a child psychologist. I am just a woman who think too much.  And I think, if this is the way we raise our children, then no wonder our children turn out bad. So stop whining, stop blaming the school, stop blaming the government and stop blaming the west, because the problem starts within us.

Define: BAD… you might ask. Well I am not talking about children who do not reach their “maximum academic potential”. BAD does not mean doing poorly at school. When I say BAD I mean children who lie, who cheat, who play truant, who talk back, who scream at their parents & who steal grocery monies from your purse. These children grow up to be liars, cheaters, do very bad at work, have no sense of responsibility, involve in corruptions, bribery, adultery etcetera and etcetera… I am sorry, but I think it all stems from us (well, not me as I am not a parent (yet)) and our severe lack of parental skills that resulted in their poor upbringing. 

 The false concept of “Let children be children”
I read in Wardina Safiyyah facebook fanpage, she quoted a Christian she knew . “Islam is a living religion but with dead followers… But Christian is a dead religion with living followers”
It’s a big statement, liked by 128 fellow Muslims. When you take a glimpse at the statement, many of us would agree on the difference between Islam & Christianity and the description of their followers. But this is a preposterous,image ludicrous statement! I can not comment on Christianity as I am not one, but to me, the only Muslims that are dead are in GAZA, trying to defend their religion! Other than that, Muslims all around the world are more than alive, trying to send messages to the world but they are all (well, WE all are) being misinterpreted & unjustly discriminated by the media. 

So when a Christian says Islam is a living religion with dead followers?  Do we listen? NO! WE PROVE THEM WRONG!  Now, what does this have anything to do with the false concept of “Let children be children?”

imageCome on people, open up your eyes! For years and years, the supposedly expert Western or Western educated Child experts had been saying that we should let our children be children..But letting your children let loose, play the whole day, listen to mind numbingly stupid children songs, watch cartoons or hooked up to the play station 24/7 and encouraging role playing with Barbie kissing Ken, dressing and undressing the dolls, exposing them to pre-mature sexual education, what for? For the 20 years that we have been following these “advices”, had our children do any better as a person or as a Muslim?

Teach them early and teach them what counts
Moms & dads and all of you in between. Have we forgotten the memorable words of Prophet Muhammad S.A.W? “Go in quest of knowledge even to the distant China”. Have we forgotten that the much glorified western renaissance that brought about the advancement of today’s science and technology was originally STOLEN from Islamic knowledge and civilisation? 

When our babies were still in our wombs, we prayed that they’d be the next Avicenna, the next Abu Hurairah or imagethe next Islamic leader. But from their first day of lives, we bombarded them with worldly materials and toys, we distract their pure minds with songs, lullabies, cartoon sand video games. Truth to be told, there is nothing to be proud of if they can sing Ba Ba Black sheep at the age of 2, when previous Islamic scholars have already memorized the whole Quran by age 3!

Teach our children early. And teach them what counts! The Quran & The Hadiths, of course. I am not saying that you should not be proud of your children when they can burp out the A,B,C from memory… but what is the point of learning A,B,C if they do not know Alif, Lam, Lam, Ha?

A father should know that one day his son will follow his example instead of his advice
Lead by example! Muslim parents, you and I both nkow that Islam is the way of life. Islam is the best way to live and to raise our children. But moms, do not show off your shoulder length crowning glory to other people if you want your daughter to not show theirs! Fathers, you treat your wife finely, as shown by Prophet Muhammad if you want your young mans to be gentlemen. You don’t lie, don’t cheat don’t drink and don’t steal if you don’t want them to do the same. imageimage

So I must say,  having a child actually means a total lifestyle turnover. We need to be respectable people before we could gain respects from our kids. These babies, they are not just for cuddles… They are huge responsibilities and that first responsibility is for us to be better Muslims.



  1. What the meaning of dead follower? spritually dead or materialistically dead?

  2. I think it is completely bias and kind of racist too to say that to Muslims. I was and still am very appalled by it. But may be it was just a personal judgment.... I don't really want to make assumptions on what that person means by "dead followers".. If he could just explain himself..that would be great.

  3. masya allah! i find this entry interesting intan. i agree that most children will turn out like their parents. it's just sad that some parents are too ego and won't admit their wrong doing. raising a child is not an easy task.

  4. Sandeh dearie,
    Thanks for dropping by =^.^=. I agree with you... raising a child is not a picnic. I do hope all Muslims would realize soon that Children are huge a responsibility. we are not here just to provide them fancy clothes or colorful play things.. It is much more than that. and I sincerely believe that our first responsibility is to let them know and love Allah.


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