2019

Life has its way to you surprise you. After 11 years of marriage and accepting that children might not be in the card for me, Allah surprised me with TWO BLUE LINES back in August. I was 4 months along when I did the dating scan. There were mixture of emotions. Although I’ve always knew that in medicine, nothing is impossible. But I have also already accepted that THIS is a close second. But Allah decreed the other way around and I could never be more grateful to Him. In short, it was a beautiful experience, one that I will cherish forever. There were a lot of concerns regarding this particular precious pregnancy, but I was determined to make it work. And when you don't mind, I guess it really didn’t matter. So I didn’t mind the lightheadedness, the nausea, the back pain, the lethargy etc, etc, etc... and cumulatively, they failed to bother me, thankfully... The little bud arrived 3 weeks early, after a scary CTG reading during a routine antenatal follow-up. I came for a follow-up on a Thursday and within 24-hours, miraculously I have a baby in my arms, a horizontal scar on my belly and what I could describe as extreme pain. Pain to move, pain to sleep, pain to lie down, pain to breathe and God knows the pain during cough or the occasional sneeze… But that was nothing compared to the pain of seeing little bud stripped to the diapers, eyes covered and had to be put under phototherapy for 24 hours at day 2 of life.I guess, motherly instinct acutely involves feeling the pain for your child many times over.And its the kind of pain I never knew before. But after 5 days in the ward, both mommy and baby were happily discharged. And it suddenly dawn on me that this is it, my life will never be the same again. And I was right in so many ways...