Monday, January 31, 2011

On the verge of a cyclone & war

Life is a funny thing. Just 2 weeks ago, I was watching the news about our friends and family in Brisbane & Queensland that were severely hit by the cyclone & the flood. I felt for them. Especially to fellow Malaysian students that are in every aspect like you and me, only in the wrong place at the wrong time. 

On Friday, we received a cyclone warning from our landlord, reminding us to take care of the house so that when the cyclone hits, we could avoid serious damage. It was alarming. I had never experienced any “natural disaster” before, not even an innocent flood. So this was considered as my first time ever. 

My husband was on the internet watching the weather warning all the time. Both of us later get our bags and essentials packed in preparation for the worst. I didn’t know if many people were aware of the cyclone warning… but I guess, a lot of people do because the busy highway in front of my house was suddenly not so busy anymore.

I had no idea that all the worrying and the waiting and the anxiety that a disaster was approaching was very exhausting. I couldn’t do any work at all the entire weekend because I was possessed by the possibility of severe flood. It was the longest Saturday in my life. I was so scared but everyone said that it was all out of our hands now, and that what left to do was only to pray to Allah.Alhamdulillah the cyclone lost it’s intensity as it approached Perth. And the threat was immediately over. Life resumed as normal from then on.

As the weather calmed down and routine replaces all worries, we received another frightening news that the situation in Egypt was getting worse. We have a brother studying in Egypt, though not in Cairo, the big city where the riot was happening, but he is still trapped in Egypt. This is another situation where I felt so helpless about... there was nothing I could do..only to pray that he is safe.

Didn’t I tell you, life is indeed a funny thing. It seems like there is always something that we had worry about and that we have no control over what so ever. And now, all of a sudden, the cyclone worry feels nothing compared to this.

Allah, I pray for my brothers & sisters in Egypt. Whatever your plan is, I know it is for the best. But please, please, please let them be safe. Ameen.    

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Anne was here

Since small, I had always been fascinated by good and honest writings. Though I tried to be a good writer, something inside me always tells me that I can’t. It’s just too hard. I could never be too honest and be completely open when I know people other than myself would read it. So, it’s no wonder that people’s biography always intrigued me. It’s the honesty in writing that always made me want to read more. And the most interesting of all is none other than  “Anne Frank: Diary of a young girl.”

I came to know about this book around 4-5 years ago. After watching “The Pianist”, a Nazi occupation movie in Poland, I did a small research on the net about other documentations of the war and Anne Frank’s diary came top in all my Google searches. Having read the raving review, I later persuaded my boyfriend who later became my husband to buy me a copy of the book from Kinokuniya in Kuala Lumpur.  We searched almost the entire book store and I must say, it is not a small bookshop at all. It is probably the biggest in South East Asia.  

It was almost 30 minutes before I finally held a copy of Anne Frank’s diary in my hands. It would be shorter if I just ask the store assistant, but it’s my habit to find it myself first before asking.. A habit that is not economical at all, I must admit. It felt surreal… holding other people’s diary in my hands, and kind of guilty too for wanting desperately to read it.

I finished reading it in three days. mainly because I still have to go to work and do on calls and stuff. Did I cry? Of course! I am a weeper. I will cry for anything. It’s just so sad and so compelling at the same time. Anne, never really get to finish her diary because her family was discovered hiding in the annexe after 2 years of hiding. But at least her dream of becoming an author that make changes in other people’s lives did come true. Isn’t it amazing how one person could still reach out to the world and touches so many lives even long after she is gone. The power of writing… Makes me determined to write more seriously from now on. [*wink]

So knowing my deep interest in Anne Frank’s diary, my husband, being the darling that he is… brought home a DVD of the same title amongst the many software books that he borrowed from Nedlands library. I watched it immediately.. cried so many times and straight away wrote this blog entry. I enjoyed the movie so much even though it is in black & white. The entire story took place in the small annexe, with no picturesque view, no clever computer generated images… just the simplicity and the honesty that were simply breathe taking.

The most memorable line in that motion picture was by Frets Pfeffer, “ This has been such a shock to me. I have always thought of myself as Dutch. I was born in Holland, my father was born in Holland, and  my grand father… and now after all these years you know….”   

Amazing… amazing how they managed to stay in hiding for 2 years yet able to do amazing things. And amazing how we could take ours for granted and do nothing with our lives every single day.

Monday, January 24, 2011

So, for the love of Allah, I gather my courage to write an email to withdraw from ANHB 1101. If I couldn’t be the one to vanquish the lie , I do not want to be the one who teaches it to the children.

Tahmina going away breakfast by JessLast week while we were walking to Uni club for Tahmina’s going away breakfast, I had a chat with MJ, a fellow colleague from the Waddell circle. For weeks I had been terrified about a class that I am taking under AP Julie.H. It’s a first semester class and I was unsure if I have the energy, time and let’s face it, the capability to handle a full teaching class. From rumours, these classes require actual teaching rather than tutoring and I am not prepared to shoulder such big responsibilities. Especially at this stage when my research demands undivided attention from me.
I asked MJ about the classes and she mentioned about “evolution” being the first chapter that was thought to these students as the basic of Biology. I immediately felt uneasy by the mention of the subject and I guessed MJ could sense the awkwardness and said that if I was not comfortable with teaching it, I could easily discuss with Julie for a replacement during that time. So I told her that, we Muslims in Malaysia were not taught in detail about evolution as much as religion was not taught in detail here. It’s Malaysia, it’s a Muslim country. It is understandable that evolution will not be accepted well by the general Muslim public, therefore it was only fair to put it as a small chapter that received minimal attention by both the teachers and the students.
MJ looked at me and asked. Well, I know it’s a Malaysia and it’s a Muslim country, but isn’t it unfair to the non-Muslim then?
Well, MJ, truthfully, I never taught about it that way because Malaysians, no matter if they are Muslims or Christians or Buddhists or Hindus, We all do believe in God. Each religion taught their followers that there is a “Superior Being” that created and controls the universe. So as a country, we stand in unison when it comes to the rubbishness of the theory of evolution. It’s funny that people would think it is the Muslims who are “very sensitive” when it comes to the theory of evolution, when in fact anyone who has a religion feels that evolution is merely the atheists’ plot to discredit the work of God.
It is amazing how one person could hate something so much. And yes, I hate evolution. One of the reason is because by believing in them, people begin to think that religion (and thus, God) is not relevant anymore. And that’s the reason that makes me angrier. Sometimes I wish that people who study biology would just open one Islamic book and read it unbiasly. I wish that people who teaches this false theory to the young minds would just unbiasly attend Islamic lectures to understand why a simple person like me, insignificant is so many levels still feel that if there is nothing else that she could do, at least she wants the world (and her friends) to know that evolution is a lie.
So, for the love of Allah, I gather my courage to write an email to Julie to withdraw from ANHB 1101. If I couldn’t be the one to vanquish the lie about evolution, I do not want to be the one who teaches it to the children.  

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

If this is the way we raise our children, then no wonder our children turn out bad

imageI am neither a mom nor a child psychologist. I am just a woman who think too much.  And I think, if this is the way we raise our children, then no wonder our children turn out bad. So stop whining, stop blaming the school, stop blaming the government and stop blaming the west, because the problem starts within us.

Define: BAD… you might ask. Well I am not talking about children who do not reach their “maximum academic potential”. BAD does not mean doing poorly at school. When I say BAD I mean children who lie, who cheat, who play truant, who talk back, who scream at their parents & who steal grocery monies from your purse. These children grow up to be liars, cheaters, do very bad at work, have no sense of responsibility, involve in corruptions, bribery, adultery etcetera and etcetera… I am sorry, but I think it all stems from us (well, not me as I am not a parent (yet)) and our severe lack of parental skills that resulted in their poor upbringing. 

 The false concept of “Let children be children”
I read in Wardina Safiyyah facebook fanpage, she quoted a Christian she knew . “Islam is a living religion but with dead followers… But Christian is a dead religion with living followers”
It’s a big statement, liked by 128 fellow Muslims. When you take a glimpse at the statement, many of us would agree on the difference between Islam & Christianity and the description of their followers. But this is a preposterous,image ludicrous statement! I can not comment on Christianity as I am not one, but to me, the only Muslims that are dead are in GAZA, trying to defend their religion! Other than that, Muslims all around the world are more than alive, trying to send messages to the world but they are all (well, WE all are) being misinterpreted & unjustly discriminated by the media. 

So when a Christian says Islam is a living religion with dead followers?  Do we listen? NO! WE PROVE THEM WRONG!  Now, what does this have anything to do with the false concept of “Let children be children?”

imageCome on people, open up your eyes! For years and years, the supposedly expert Western or Western educated Child experts had been saying that we should let our children be children..But letting your children let loose, play the whole day, listen to mind numbingly stupid children songs, watch cartoons or hooked up to the play station 24/7 and encouraging role playing with Barbie kissing Ken, dressing and undressing the dolls, exposing them to pre-mature sexual education, what for? For the 20 years that we have been following these “advices”, had our children do any better as a person or as a Muslim?

Teach them early and teach them what counts
Moms & dads and all of you in between. Have we forgotten the memorable words of Prophet Muhammad S.A.W? “Go in quest of knowledge even to the distant China”. Have we forgotten that the much glorified western renaissance that brought about the advancement of today’s science and technology was originally STOLEN from Islamic knowledge and civilisation? 

When our babies were still in our wombs, we prayed that they’d be the next Avicenna, the next Abu Hurairah or imagethe next Islamic leader. But from their first day of lives, we bombarded them with worldly materials and toys, we distract their pure minds with songs, lullabies, cartoon sand video games. Truth to be told, there is nothing to be proud of if they can sing Ba Ba Black sheep at the age of 2, when previous Islamic scholars have already memorized the whole Quran by age 3!

Teach our children early. And teach them what counts! The Quran & The Hadiths, of course. I am not saying that you should not be proud of your children when they can burp out the A,B,C from memory… but what is the point of learning A,B,C if they do not know Alif, Lam, Lam, Ha?

A father should know that one day his son will follow his example instead of his advice
Lead by example! Muslim parents, you and I both nkow that Islam is the way of life. Islam is the best way to live and to raise our children. But moms, do not show off your shoulder length crowning glory to other people if you want your daughter to not show theirs! Fathers, you treat your wife finely, as shown by Prophet Muhammad if you want your young mans to be gentlemen. You don’t lie, don’t cheat don’t drink and don’t steal if you don’t want them to do the same. imageimage

So I must say,  having a child actually means a total lifestyle turnover. We need to be respectable people before we could gain respects from our kids. These babies, they are not just for cuddles… They are huge responsibilities and that first responsibility is for us to be better Muslims.


Monday, January 17, 2011

My artworks

It would be so lucky for anyone to get paid doing what they love to do. Photographing enthusiasts to be paid for taking pictures, Pianists to be paid for playing their concerto and designers to be paid for the clothes they designed. Oh boy, waking up every morning sure is easy for them huh.

I, on the other hand have always dreamed to be an artist. The kind that draw stuffs.. not sing stuffs, of course… But mom said that some talent may best be kept as hobbies rather than transformed into careers. So the good girl that I am, I listened and realized that she was right. The world is not perfect. You just got to do what’s best for you.

So here I am doing what I love “second best”…pursuing knowledge. Though it is not ideal, but why should I complaint when the money and the prospect is good. the career is stable. I get to do a 9-5 job, with free weekends, no on calls & huge allowance… it is very selfish to still complaint. Nauzubillah. However, in the field that I am working now, there had been times when I was asked to draw pictures and make illustrations. This is the part that I love the most. Well, for those of you who do not know, for an artist to be asked to draw, it is like a privilege. An acknowledgement that your talent is of value.

A professor that I worked for asked me to draw come blastocycts last year. I never get to know what she really thinks about my artwork, but I guess it must not be too bad because if not, she wouldn’t have recommended me to someone else this year.

So in short, the very happy story that I am sharing today is that: even though I completely surrendered my interest in art/ drawing, Allah still does not want me to be devoid of the occasional pleasure of “getting paid for art”..which in my humble opinion, the ultimate happiness for an artist. Thank you so much, Allah. YOU have no idea how happy I am..Hey, just kidding… I know YOU do. =^.^=  .

Guys, you wouldn’t believe me if I said these picture worth MYR 1000+ would you?

Day 12_colour insertDay12_insertDay16-colour insertDay16-Insertcolourday22colourday22 insert colourday22 insert no colourday22no colourDay 12_N0 colourDay12_insert no colourDay16-InsertDay16-No colour

Not too bad for something that is done in microsoft’s paint application huh?

till then,


Wednesday, January 12, 2011

I did not come into contact with any Muslim before I embraced Islam. I read the Qur'an first and realized no person is perfect, Islam is perfect, and if we imitate the conduct of the Holy Prophet... we will be successful. Cat Stevens

Many times I read in ex-Muslim atheist blogs, the reason they became atheists was because they thought that the teachings of Islam does not make sense.
They are usually 3rd or 4th degree Muslims living in non-Muslim countries.  Most are from middle class Muslimimage families and are typically characterised by having busy parents. Where they live, “proper” Islamic educations are either seriously lacking, or they just had no access to it.
Ever since they were small, they practiced Islamic teachings by merely following what their parents and grand parents did… oblivious to the relevance behind each divine act..For them,  the practice of Islam such as fasting during Ramadhan is just some kind of long family tradition that has no value what so ever other than to please family members. They do not identify themselves with Islamic values nor virtues.
It broke my heart when I watched Oprah last year. A Muslim doctor from Dubai brought the audience into her grand house trying to tell the world “This is how we in Dubai live”… Despite the various things that they could possibly chat about in the space of 5 minutes, Oprah asked “I notice that you are not wearing the Burka as do your mom and grand mom. Is it not customary to wear the burka in Dubai?” Cordially she answered “No. Wearing the burka or the head scarfs are only traditions. We only wear them when we are older.” Considering how influential the Oprah Winfrey Show is, the doctor’s cordial answer to a very critical question was taken as the truth, when we all knew that what she said was wrong!
This is the basic to the development of dysfunctional Muslim families. First the mom & dad are not sure on how to differentiate between compulsory Islamic teachings and family traditions. Next due to general ignorance,  their children will grow up having no idea why there is Burka on the first place. And before long, their grand children will write blogs about why they think Islam is ridiculous and that the practice of Islam does not make sense anymore.
That is why I quoted:
“I did not come into contact with any Muslim before I embraced Islam. I read the Qur'an first and realized no person is perfect, Islam is perfect, and if we imitate the conduct of the Holy Prophet... we will be successful” Cat Stevens
imageSo I am calling all Muslims to please study your own religion in greater detail now. You may have been a Muslim for the entire 20 years of your lives but your knowledge about Islam might still be way inadequate. The last thing you want to have is an atheist as a grand child. image
And for Non- Muslims, do not judge Islam just from the way Muslims act. Muslims are only human with human feelings, obsessions, ambitions and needs. What ever stupidity we display it only define who we are as a person… not our religion. 
And with that, I rest my case.
Wabillahitaufik walhidayah. Wassalamualaikum Warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Big Boss Tuesday

IMG_1533It was a big day today…After fetching my friend from Perth international airport, I headed straight to work. Jess T was already in the office. Unfortunately, I was so pre-occupied with work that I realised I didn’t really greet Jess as usual. But hey, it’s Tuesday… any Waddell girls would be mentally and emotionally challenged on these days. Particularly because I have tonnes of experimental works to be done and a meeting to be scheduled with the Big Boss that I couldn’t do yesterday because he was not in.

Mom called the second I reached my desk and reported on the new development between my dad (her ex-hubby) and my brother who had just started Uni. Apparently, they met yesterday, strictly for scholarship purposes of course (you know, signatures and getting his pay slips etc).. But according to mom, he did mentioned about the “laptop”. God, I hope everyone realize how freakishly Intelligent my little brother is. He did not skip a grade for nothing. Now that he wants to resume studying.. Parents, give him all he needs, please!!! (and by parents, I meant you, Daddy). And a laptop is the single most important thing in a student’s life. Especially when he is doing “COMPUTER ENGINEERING” for God’s sake!

After receiving that good-ish news, I became completely consumed with my animal work that when I came out, it wasIMG_1532 already 12 noon. There was still this long report that needed to be finished before I could even begin thinking about seeing Mr Big Boss man. Focusing on that report, again made me that “anti-social” person. It was good however because works get done twice as fast. The only bad thing about working fast is, I actually GET TO MEET MR BIG BOSS man and the bad thing about meeting him is every time I see him my research gets changed completely.

All those rat babies..all 60 of them will have to be sacrificed because we are going to ditch the high fat diets. And guess what, WE ARE ALSO GOING TO DESIGN NEW DIETS!!! That was a slap on the face because new diets effectively mean MORE OPTIMISATION. This is when I yell “HEEEEEERGHHH!” againSleepy smile

My only hope is that the tougher my PHD gets, The stronger Allah will make me. Hey, you know what they say…”Pray hard, but work smart.”

LiveJournal Tags:

Monday, January 10, 2011


LiveJournal Tags:


When I arrived at the department today, I saw 2 different guys cleaning the building and…. nobody else.

I assumed Leah had already arrived, but she was probably in the other PCF room, where they put all the mousies.. =)

Time was 6.06am. Animal work consumed the first 2 and 1/2 hours of my first day at work in 2011. When I came out from the room, there was absolutely nobody at all in room 2.3.6…while I was keying in the data for the day Tahmina and Jess arrived smelling fresh from the holiday. I increased the volume of Quran reciting a little bit so that I could “concentrate” a little bit more on data entry. More friendly people came into that room as the day progresses. However, If another person asked me again about “how did I spent my holiday?” I will surely scream maniacally at themSleepy smile. Go show off somewhere else, please…, screaming maniacally?  [seriously? =)]Smile

I have 2 weddings in 2011 involving 2 of my best sisters that I might have to send “I’m sorry” cards for not coming…all because of the stoooopid circadian collection. I am not talking about a hens night in Bali, I am not talking about being a bridesmaid to a best friend in Thailand… My sisters are getting married! There is a possibility that I might not even be able to come at all. It makes me even angrier for giving up my 2 weeks xmas holiday in 2009 for that crazy meaningless stereology that yielded NOTHING!! Owh, I am not worried..Allah and HIS plans… I accept it as it is. I still hope that weddings could be postponed to December 2011, so that I could come.. =)Smile

Anyway, it’s time to pen off to continue working. Plus.. There is an hour long pilates that I had been meaning to do since yesterday.


Ana Red heart

Sunday, January 9, 2011

First day of work in 2011

691Tomorrow will be the start of 2011 for us all in Perth, well, in UWA to be exact. I am unsure whether I am anxious excited or anxious scared. But I am somewhat anxious. Firstly, I am facing my research head on for the first time. And I am not looking at anything handsome there. Just piles of works and loads of sleep deprivations. Gosh, thank God that I didn’t waste my time holidaying and exhaust my self. Energy is all I need at this moment.

Now, I am gathering all of my strength to face tomorrow. If my analysis complete tonight, I’d be very happy to go to work tomorrow, but if I didn’t finish it tonight, God tomorrow’s going to be dreadful. Not that I have to show the analysis to anyone, especially not to the bosses, but I’d love that my first day of work in 2011 to be perfect. Not having the analysis finished is the exact opposite to perfect.

Hey, at least I have the whole day, well in fact the whole week planned ahead.


  • Go to work at 6am, do experimental work from 6-11 am,
  • Data analysis from 11-1.30pm.
  • Go home at 2pm……

There you go, 8 hours of work planned perfectly.

Well I do have to slot in Meetings with the “Bosses” and weekly meetings with “The Group”

On top of that, I also have to plan for PhD support group activities. But I can do that later.

Now, what am I doing still writing this?

let’s get busy!



Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Small talks

There are certain things that I always find intriguing with the western culture.
1. Birthdays are a big deal, but funeral is not.
2. Men and women can mingle together without any boundaries and sex is just another human need that needs to be fulfilled, but nobody wants a child out of wedlock.
3. The more alcohol you serve in a party, the better hostess you are, but drinking and driving is highly frowned upon.
4. The more you speak your mind, the more confident you are assumed, regardless if you hurt other people’s feeling while you are at it.
5. You can say “Hey, how are ya?” but not mean it.
6. People who eat is considered a loser. People who drink alcohol (and loads of it), is considered sociable.
7. I won’t help you today, unless you will help me tomorrow.
8. you can call your superiors by their first name, but they might not even hear you.
9. People who wear super short skirts and showing off their cleavage are “slutty'”, but wearing a two piece bikini at the beach is “normal”.

Little Blondie Emma

Lola told me that she was lonely, so I made her a friend, Emma.
I try to experiment sewing a different facial expression on Emma. I think she turned out all right. =)
Let’s go through step-by-step of how Emma finally come in to existence..hihihi..=^.^=
Firstly, I cut the outlines of the doll. Red for body. Yellow for hair and beige for the face. And blue for her skirt.
attach hands and legs to the shirtsew on the skirt 
after sewing the sides of the shirt/body, attach the hands and legs. sew a small dark blue pocket onto the skirt and sew the skirt onto the body.
close up facial expressionclose up pocketsew on her facial expression and attach the head to the body
sew facial expression onto the head and attach the head to the body. Here is also a close up of the pocket in case you are wondering…
BFFbff2Emma posing
I couldn’t resist getting Emma tried Lola’s lovely gloves and shoes. I also made them a green bag to put their tiny cakes and cookies in case they want to go out picnicking together…
When Emma wears that red sweater and green bag, she looks like she is going to school.
May be I should too… hikhikhik
I don’t know if I will be able to make more of these little friends now that the Uni is reopening… but I will post pictures if I do.. =^.^=

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