major changes

me, writing my blog everyday is not a good sign. it literally screams emotional instability. but since this is the place where ideas and emotions interact.. then I assume, it is not an offense to write as much as I want as long as my thesis is not neglected.
yesterday I had a meeting with my supervisor. MJ said talking to him, even a casual chat… can change your whole life (PhD wise) 360 degrees around. And she was abso-freaking-lutely right. now that my big programming study is underway, lacking the very important aspect of novelty in it, he suggested that “why don’t we do a circadian analysis as well? I heard something about it in some conference I went to sometimes ago.”
and I nodded yes like my neck was made of BedShed mattress’s spring. Yes, of course it is going to complicate things…especially with the 4 collection time points. (and somehow I sensed an aura of extreme dread in the air coming from the people around me in an instant)… but it made my PhD much more MEANINGFUL. I am not just another student replicating the Seckle group’s experimental model. I actually have something novel to present to the world now. AND THAT IS VERY IMPORTANT TO ME.
so other than the fact that someone broke my heart and I am making all excuses to minimize contact with this person, I actually have a STRONG, LEGITIMATE reason to withdraw myself from group activities that involve her. SWEET. It all works out to my favour. yeay for Intan!
shouldn’t I be a bit more secretive about this person’s identity? Nah… the entire population in room 2.3.6 knows about it. I bet with clever guessing you’ll know who she is very2 soon.
No one is an island. every so often you’ll need friends and support from people who cares for you. But back stabbers are really not in my list of good friends. everyone else are, everyone else in my previous PhD support group are…except one. but I can’t bear to see her face again that’s why i need to withdraw myself from the group. You wouldn’t want me to be in that group anyway because I can only mask this overbearing disappointment for a couple of meetings may be..and  pretty soon I might break down and who knows what I’d do. slap someone on the face perhaps.. now, that would be very2 nice indeed. =). tempting…
So life resumes as it should. all careful break-up plans are also underway. MISCHIEVIOUS..I know.
In the midst of all these, I realize that despite extreme loathing to her actions towards me, there is no way that I would go that low to her levels to get back at her. no point, really. In fact, I don’t even care to sit down and explain to her. too tired for that. most people say that me not telling is the reason why they do not know how I feel. they may not do it if they knew I will be so upset about it. but I am not good at discussing because, I can not control my hands. sometimes they tend to slap people very fast.
da,
ANA