She then showed me her forearm and I saw it for the first time, the inscription “alif, lam, lam ha” mimicking a wheal but it was not a wheal. It was just there a maculopapular erythematous rash spelling the word “ALLAH” in Arabic. Now, I have never seen any such wonder…It took some moments to digest the whole thing and to rearrange my thoughts clearly. I suddenly realized that this is no coincidence anymore. “This” must be a sign!

Passionate, passionate entry I wrote few days ago. Owh, that’s Intan Suhana Zulkafli. Didn’t Miranda told me that I was gutsy & strong?…and I was only presenting my research proposal.

Finally Ramadhan made it’s way to my complicated world. Unlike many years ago, I never had the urge to “celebrate” Ramadhan. It just felt like any other month except for the fact that I can not eat or be seen eating in public during the days. But this year it felt different. I can still feel the disappointment when they said that Ramadhan in Perth is one day delayed than in KL. and I felt so envious of the people in KL that can fast and join tarawikh when I can’t. And now that Ramadhan is here, it really feels like I am in the middle of the “celebration” again.

I think one of the reasons why I am way too excited for the arrival of this holy month is probably because of a fellow colleague. She’s an Australian girl of an Afghan origin. Her parents left Afghanistan to work in Australia and had both made their way up to the top since. In her own words, voice trembled by emotions she told me that “my parents are not religious at all,” so I imagined she had never been “enforced” to practice the teachings of Islam like many Muslim Malaysian girls do.  But I can see in her watery eyes that despite the “happy-go-lucky” lifestyle that she was allowed to adopt, she still wants to practice ISLAM. She wants to find Allah. I quote her to my best ability, “It was so heart breaking when you know that Allah is out there but you can’t feel Him anymore in your heart. It feels empty..Now that Ramadhan is near, I want to feel “it” again so I asked for a sign…” she had been reading the Quran but still felt a little bit lost. I was so sorry for her, but at the same time I was also thrilled that she is making her way back to Islam one baby step at a time.

She then showed me her forearm and I saw it for the first time, the inscription “Alif, Lam, Lam, Ha” mimicking a wheal but it was not a wheal. It was just there a maculopapular erythematous rash spelling the word “ALLAH” in Arabic. Now, I had never seen any such wonder…It took me some moments to digest the whole thing and to rearrange my thoughts clearly. I suddenly realized that this is no coincidence anymore. “This” must be a sign!

For it to happen to a friend, it was great. I think it was a message to tell her that Allah will never abandon anyone who is still looking for HIM. And I also felt so touched to be chosen to bear witness for such miracle.  I do not know what is the message HE had for me, but i do feel loved overbearingly by my creator. I hope this privilege was given to me because I had done something right but it could also be a message for me to make right of something that I had been doing wrong. Oh Allah, please guide me the way.

I had been engaged in many discussions about my religion countless of times. For some reason, I happen to be non-Muslim friendly, therefore the kind of person they could talk to when something about the practice of Islam bothered or intrigued them.. When I was younger, I had been lazy to explain the reasons behind my religious practices… but I am no longer a naive teenager who follows the religion because her parents asked her to. I am an adult who is free to make my own executive decision on what religion I want to practice and how much I want to practice it. And I have just realized that even if Islam is so called the most difficult religion to practice, the most complicated to understand and the strictest to follow especially in terms of female clothing etc, if someone held my neck at the tip of a sword, I would gladly die rather then to be forced to leave Islam. Although this might be the most insignificant wish of all time,  I do wish that I could live and die as a proud Muslim that has served her purpose in life and is returning home to Allah with nothing but joy& pure happiness in her heart. InsyaAllah, Ameen…

“Happy Ramadhan everyone! Let this be a good one”

toodles,

Ana