Saturday, August 28, 2010

If you are an adopted child you will know this…

In just about any class that you were in at any one of the schools that you’ve been, you’d probably remember seeing the classmate with that Harmione-like personality. Almost 90% of the time, that person will be girl… She was always the first person to put her hands up, always the first student to volunteer an answer and amongst other things, never failed to seem like an annoying know-it-all. Typically, she studies like the fate of the world depends on her answers on that piece of OMR paper. Her ridiculously excessive fear of failure almost make everyone else want to vomit. She adheres to the school discipline like a UHU gluing 2 pieces of cardboard papers together. Why does she has to be good in every subject? Who was she trying to impress? Well, she certainly didn’t impress you,did she?

Not many years later, the girl grew into a woman. When everyone else was trying to built a family, she was trying her hardest to expand her career. Everyone can see how selfish this girl is, pushing her way forward not even glancing at all the other people affected by her actions and decisions. Being a brainer, everything seems so easy for her… Everything always turned out right, all the times.. Teachers, love her.. She always got the attention of the “important” people in the society, everywhere she turns her head, people seems to cheer for her.. HOW UNFAIR.. 

But did you know that beneath the strong, “I can do everything” look, lies an insecure child who only ever wanted to be accepted and loved and most importantly appreciated? Something happened when she was a young girl that made her thinks that if she didn’t do her very best, she will not be loved, and may be she will be given away… to this girl, the only way for her to be appreciated is to be the best that she can be…then only people that matters will notice her, and probably love her a little bit. Lacking any other talent what so ever, her only solution is to try her hardest, hard works included. In her life, she never knew what a restful sleep is. her stomach churns at the thought of going to bed at 11 pm because in her dictionary sleeping early means laziness, and laziness is next to failure. She could not accept failure because failure will ruin her… failure will lose her the most important thing in her life, the love of a family.

If you are an adopted child you will know this. In the life of an adopted child, there is a constant battle to be the best to win the adopted parents heart. (because typically, any parent prefer a child that he/she can gloat about…either for their looks, for their talents or for their exam results). But this annoying, career driven woman was never adopted..yet her insecurity is exactly like one.

A lot of people would think that “coming from a broken family” never really affected anyone, well, for one person, it does. All of her life, she had always wondered would she turned out to be a more relaxed, less stressed out and a much less neurotic person than she is now if her family had been perfect. But now, she would never knew it, would she?

The gift of a family is the best gift of all. Therefore, for any person who had to work so hard all her life just to feel accepted by her own family would be the worst feeling in the world. So why don’t you give her a break. stop looking at her like she is trying to dominate the world and boost her ego… this woman, is still and will forever be a broken child trying to feel appreciated.

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