I would trade a good night sleep to be able to talk to my friends again. And tonight, may be I will.

When I was very young, I had no friends… particularly because mom was fairly protective over her children and I am a girl, pretty awkward for most of the times, very quiet and highly prejudice over strangers. Even if mom was not protective, I reckon, I will have problems to make friends anyway. And I am glad for that because those few friends that I made are for life.

To a person with extreme personalities like the child me, having fun might prove to be problematic. But you are wrong… because I have loads of imaginary friends.I never saw them, I know there was nobody there but I imagined that there was a listener at the receiving end…It was like writing in a diary, where people always address their journals as “dear Diary” as if the diary is a living person, or a friend.. I talked to my imaginary friends all the time… Obviously they never ever talk to me back, but I like it that way. So, to my imaginary friends I confided everything and I do feel safe confiding to pure nothingness.

Now that I am married, I prevented myself from talking to them anymore… mainly because I do not want to seem crazy.  Furthermore, I now have many other channels to ventilate my emotions, fears and triumphs.. like keeping a journal or writing a blog for example. But any information passed in written form has always the possibility to be leaked and I am a very prejudice person, so truth to be told, writing never gives the same satisfaction as actually talking to a friend… there are just so many things that I couldn’t dare to write. Like how angry and unjustified I feel at the moment, words can not describe it. 

so yes, my friends are back and I am just waiting for a moment to be absolutely alone so that I can talk to them again. sadly, I am never alone. I tried to be, but I can’t. So if people wonders why I love to go to my office at 12 midnight? then the perfect answer will be because the world looks beautifully empty in the middle of the night. I can do my work without anyone bothering me… well, I do hate to be bothered while I am at work, but over time, I learnt to make exceptions. I would trade a good night sleep to be able to talk to my friends again. And tonight, may be I will.