"We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done" - Henry W. Longfellow
In all these madness of looking for a home, frantically visiting one scene of home viewing to another, i have collectively lost a good 7 days of my PhD life to ...what do you know?..LIFE it self. i have always known that i am a good student. being a student is what i am best at. but..doosh..doosh..doosh..pang..pang pang..wake up love, you are not a good student if you don't have good results..good papers and awesome powerpoint presentation. WAKE UP!!
now, screaming; though physically aggressive is not ever going change the guilt i carry for fact that i have wasted 7 days of my life with house hunting. i feel ashamed. ashamed because i let myself being overpowered by my own weakness of being a homo sapien. why i can't organize my time good enough? why i still found time for leisure when i know i don't have any? why did i sneak away to watch tv or get carried away by facebook when all i should do is to sit at my desk and do some analysis or write some papers? because i know too well that when i judge myself with what i am capable of doing, my bosses are judging me by each result i produce. and i didn't produce any last week. WEAK!
hah.. you'd say that I am being over critical towards myself but if don't put that high expectation to this lump of brain on a stick called Intan Suhana Zulkafli then no one will. No expectation means no purpose and having no purpose in life is as good as having none (worth mentioning) at all.
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