Tantrums…ahakz.

As much as it is accustomed to see no one in the Anatomy building as the Uni closed it’s door to all things “work” on the 25th of December each year , I too customarily write a blog entry on this date to celebrate the NOTHINGNESS of this day. And I do not mean it in a nice way.

I distinctly remember 12 months ago, I was writing this blog, posting images of how wonderful it was to be able to work alone for a change for I am not a very people person… I can’t believe it that I am still doing it again this year.  I was promised that my hard work and dedication during the 2 weeks Christmas holiday last year would be benefited by a scientific paper. Excuse me, where is that paper now? if it was going to be delayed for a year, why was I “pressured” to finish it during Christmas holiday? The only holiday that I was allowed to have but was taken from me, for what?

So, wash it wong for me to be a wee bit “angwee” and twor a weetle baby tantwums  while I’m at it? hikhikhik

There was also the issue of me not going and not telling anyone that I was going to ditch the Christmas party.  I agree that I was excessively rude to not call anyone about my absence especially when so many preparations had been made so that the food (sushi) would be acceptable for me. Well I am truly sorry for that. I was inconsiderate to a large extent.

But the change of venue 72 hours before the party to a venue where there is completely no acceptable food for Muslims, the very Christian give giving ceremony, and the constant access to beer here and beer there, positively blackening and hardening my soul, sorry peeps, It’s not worth it anymore to try to pretend to be OK with it if I had to sacrifice my Islamic practice. NO WAY…

On top of that, the trauma from the last Christmas Party was still haunting me. I came home from the party feeling undeniably shameful. I felt ashamed and cheated. I really thought that the restaurant in Swan Valley was  very near to Swan Bell in Perth City (5 minutes drive from home) which was the reason why I agreed to join on the first place. I blamed it on my immature sense of direction. I should have Google mapped the location prior to saying yes to any invitation, but my internet knowledge at that time was poor. So I accidentally missed 2 prayer times. And what I thought was a short Christmas lunch turned out to be an all-day event.  Really, not in a million years would I have agreed if I knew that was going to happen. NOT IN A MILLION YEARS. {Regretful}

So there I was, explaining to the Big Boys the reason why I was acting “strangely”. I was torn between keeping my human to human relationship with them intact without sacrificing my established relationship with God. And whilst I triumphed at one, I failed miserably at the other.  But amidst all that, I am relieved that I was strong enough to make the right decision..which was to abandon the party and let Allah settle it for me.

And as usual, HE did. In a meeting that I arranged with the Bosses last Tuesday, “HE” helped me gather all my courage to FINALLY explain the truth about the struggle that I have been facing ever since I joined this group. Turned out, things are not as complicated as it seemed and all is fine now. of course at the end of the day I came out looking like a REBEL. But I don’t mind that because that is who I am after all. What I love the most is, I NEVER had to cater for lab meetings anymore.. a great burden lifted. {Bliss… =^.^=}

Even though I am still working over the holiday again this year, I do not mind because this time it is for ME. It’s my study, it’s my baby. I am willing to do anything for it.

Till then,

Ana.